Succeed Early

How to Marry, Own a Home, and Have a Child before You are Desperate and Old

Steadermen

Oct 06, 2024

What you want to do,

go out and get it done

See it through,

while you are young

and it’s still fun

Americans are finding it increasingly hard to become adults. They have to run a marathon before they reach a milestone.

Though there are some exceptions, its mostly not from lack of trying. Most suffer from bad models about how to succeed.

The single biggest problem is the ubiquitous advice they receive that “you’ll get around to it eventually” is compatible with success.

In contrast, steaders succeed early.

Today’s transmission is advice from a steader man who has married, got his own home, and fathered a child all by age 22. He’s not Amish and he’s not ancient, this all happened within the last couple of years. You will want to read what he says. It’s all gems.

Q. You said you have to be zealous about succeeding. What do you mean by that?

We have a low view of consumerism, unusual aesthetic priorities, very careful about how religion applies to parenting, all our stuff being secondhand so we can afford more babies

Q. Can you expand on that?

1) Get comfortable being weird. Do normal things, get normal results.

2) Assume that none of this is going to fall into your lap while you're prioritizing other things. Gotta prioritize.

3) Get out of debt and consumeristic spending. There's a lot you can do with a mid amount of money, even in today's economy, if you're focused.

4) Get in right relationship with God. If you're running the lukewarm version of your faith, you're missing out on blessings. I found both my wife and house by talking to God, then doing what He said. (This is the part I feel like I talk out both sides of my mouth. I want to help you all, but I am where I am because of divine intervention and can't really take credit for any of this.)

5) Children aren't expensive. Pure propaganda. You can afford them.

Children aren't expensive. Pure propaganda. You can afford them.

6) Accept help from people who want to help. Marry into a helpful extended family if you don't have one. We have lots of helpful relatives. We pay them in grandbabies.

We have lots of helpful relatives. We pay them in grandbabies.

7) Be willing to step off the lifestyle and aesthetic rat race. Used cars, home cooking, small houses, bunk beds, thrifted stuff. Get to where this doesn't feel like a sacrifice.

8) Take as many shots on goal with the ladies as possible. Also, send as many signals that you are good husband material as possible.

Q. What do you mean by that last point?

Shots on goal: it's unwise to spend too long hung up on one girl, paralyzed by fear of rejection. Ask her out. She says yes, great. No, then you know she's not the one and can pursue the next opportunity. More asks = more chance of success

Signals: In this day and age, there is no surefire first impression signal you can send to people meeting you that you are looking for a wife or would be a good husband yourself. No one thing you can say, or wear, or do. You gotta stack as many signals as possible - how you look, how you dress, how you talk, what your priorities are - so you can cut through the noise.