Lad
to Dad
is rad
and trad.
Father’s day is a made up holiday that didn’t go national until the 1970s, probably mostly as an echo of the greeting card companies push for Mother’s Day.
A lot of dads don’t like the attention and don’t like the artificiality.
You should still celebrate it. Here’s why.
You need the reinforcement
You are the keystone of your family. Future generations rise and fall on your ability to hold together. You need the people you care about most telling you from time to time how much you mean to them. This is not a weakness. On the contrary. To take no joy in your own achievements is a weakness.
They need the reinforcement
People aren’t so constituted an idea into being just by repeating it over and over. You can’t propagandize your children into adoring being your children. They have to adore it because its so rewarding.
But the human mind doesn’t automatically consciously rate experiences either. Having a great home won’t automatically make your children aware that they have a great home. It needs pointed out. People are made such that rewarding experience becomes a conscious conviction usually only with the help of someone explicitly pointing out the lesson. Overt messaging works when it reinforces lived experience. Lived experience without overt messaging doesn’t always work.
As a parent, you make your home a healthy place where children flourish, you repeatedly point out to them that your home is a healthy place where children flourish, and then from time to time you make the connection to them growing up to have children of their own.
Father’s Day is ideal for this.
I love being your dad.
You love that I am your dad.
One day you should be a dad (or marry a dad).
Then you can be happy like me.
And your kids can be happy like you.
Develop organic traditions
It’s easy to make it all seem more natural by developing organic traditions, whatever those may be. A favorite meal, an event you always do, polishing dad’s shoes. At some level, it doesn’t matter.
Tell stories
One tradition to favor is a tradition of telling stories. Telling stories is root human behavior for maintaining ties.
Tell stories about your own father. Tell stories about yourself as a boy. Ask the kids to tell you the stories about you that they remember. You might be surprised!
CONCLUSION
Father’s Day need not be circled on your calendar in fluorescent ink. You don’t have to celebrate it in any particular way. Abolish presents if you like.
But celebrate it. The only thing you have to do is something.
Develop habits that make sense for your family and reinforce to them the wonder and joy of becoming fathers and mothers themselves some day.
And tell stories.